Woof! It's Hazel.

I was wondering if a dog could have autism, but if it could, then Hazel, our beloved Golden Retriever would be a perfect example. This five-year-old, one-balled adorable dog can turn into a Greek-hydra, having the time of his life decapitating all in his sight: balls, fish nets, slippers, you name it!

We all know that munching is a habit of a puppy, so I’ve found his way of expressing himself atypical. We had a professional dog-trainer train him when he was a year old, but little fruit can be seen now as the lessons seem to vaporize as he gets older. He understands the basic command ‘sit, down, sleep and stay’ and in many cases that is what you can expect from a dog. However, as a Golden Retriever, known as “pet with brain”, he’s quite a dim-wit. Well, munching being one of the many reasons. I wonder if it has anything to do with his being a one-testicle male. ;-) duh!

As an adult dog, he's often assumed as a one-year old, mostly by looking from his not so big bone structure and his lack of mane. His behavior doesn't help either: very hyperactive – a puppy character. He'll captivate everyone around him with his innocent cute Golden Retriever face, which I couldn't agree more, but again, looks can be deceiving. In this case, I think I'm one of the few people who can relate well to John Grogan, the author of Marley and Me. Marley was a wholesome, and Hazel is too: the attention seeker, very playful, ball-blaster Golden Retriever!

Putting all his misdemeanor would be an endless list. Maybe I should narrow it to what he did in this past week:
- stealing warm bakpaos (which were supposed to be our dinner) from the dining table in stealth mode
- drinking from our new fish aeration
- munching chocolate pie left-over from the coffee table
- lurking our koi fish and presumably swallowing a small one (as we found a fish scale in his mouth)
- snitching a sausage and fish from the kitchen table
- chewing a bundle of tissue from the bathroom
- blasting a neighbor's ball
- escaping from the window to another neighbor's house
- tearing two door mats to pieces

- scratching our livingroom floor with his gigantic paw nails (as a result of trying to dig a bone underneath, perhaps?)

As we live in a cluster-type neighborhood and so it's without a gate, we usually have him tied to a 40-kg block of cement in our garden. I'd love to see him unleashed at all time but unfortunately Hazel's wayward, fun-loving attitude made it impossible. He's easily distracted and will dash out of sight once he sees something interesting (that includes leaf falling from a neighbor's garden, cat passing or kid running). But, I really marvel at the power he possesses; he can drag the block of cement with him! There's this guy living in front of us, and he's always picking on our dog playfully, with a ball sometimes. Once Hazel chased him while being leashed, dragging the cement block to my neighbor's door for the chance of playing.

Like what Marley had done in John Grogan's life, Hazel has brought colors to our life; he's both a nuisance and blessing. He's may be a transformation of a hellish creature in a comical way, whose meal portion equals to that of five persons'. But for me and my husband, he's more than that. He's literally one of a kind son of a bitch, a happy-go-lucky furry friend who'd willingly serve himself as a living carpet and follow us whenever we're with food.

On the hindsight, the blame should not be put on him. Maybe this is the result of having lots of negligence since he was a puppy. He was originally my husband’s family’s dog and used to be put in the porch. He didn’t get many people to pet him, except my husband, who also spent limited time with him – after he got home from work. Now that he lives with us, we’ve been trying to make ‘talking to pet’ a habit, and have seen a good progress: when he comes to his senses, it’s really easy to communicate with him, though there are still times when he’s more than what we can handle. It’s frustrating for us and I know it’s also exasperating for him too, being talked in a stern way.

But then, how could you be really angry when he shows this face:

Assuming his hyperactivity is a gesture of attention seeking, I hope in the near future there’ll be time when it’s no longer impossible to put towels or food in his reach, without him trying to snatch it. Let it be soon, please..

Is our emotion a blessing or a curse?

A good movie leaves the audience something to think about after the lights are back on, and so this 165-minute ''My name is Khan" is surely something worth watching because it has left me emotionally drenched with heaps of thoughts and WHAT IFs in my head.

I'm not particularly fond of Bollywood movies, but I think I have to make an exception to this one. This movie, starred by a top-Indian actor Sharukh Khan, centers in the life of a Moslem-Indian Rizvan Khan, who in a way is a modern "Forrest Gump". Both see the world in black and white and share similar virtue of perseverance and honesty because of the nature of their disease. Gullible by nature, Khan struggles hard to fit himself in the American society, facing injustice after injustice, not only because of his Asperger's Syndrome, but also due to the people's accusation and discrimination post 9/11. Khan becomes a symbol of hope in the American society's diminishing sincerity and innocence, especially towards Moslem people, whose positions in the society are in jeopardy after the 9/11 terrorist attack. He wears his disease as an emblem of blessing in disguise, moreover his strength, to see what's right and wrong - not based on one's religion or race, but on one's action. "There are two kinds of people in this world, the people doing bad things and the ones doing good things," Khan points out, and though I honestly don't know to what extent this perspective infallible, but Khan's inability to feel and show emotion and so seeing the world in black and white has got its essence. His strong grip of principals, supported with his impeccable determination and earnest intention to help others get him through the ups and downs of life and reach his goal to meet the president, and is finally able to announce: “Mr. President, my name is Khan and I’m not a terrorist.”

***

Even in continents where people are not defined by their religion like in America and Europe, terrorists correspond closely to Moslems. As terrorists continuously haunt the world, the people of the world, traumatized and angered by the terrorist attacks, become 'little terrorists' creating a hostile atmosphere to live for Moslems in non-Moslem countries. They tend to have prejudice towards the Moslems and treat them as second-class citizens. People like Rizvan Khan thus become scapegoats, the objects to unleash cumulative hurt and fury, being accused as terrorists only because they share the same religion as the terrorists.

Now, as people of all society and the Moslems believe to have been unfairly treated by each other, we build a wall of defense to protect our ideology, religion and ultimately, ourselves. In this way we destruct our society from within, don't you think? But who’s put to blame? Everybody, I’d say, for letting ourselves become the victim of our own emotion. Many of my friends are devoted Moslems, and I've got to say they share my opinion concerning this matter.

If emotion was the trigger that led Al-Qaeda to the 9/11 massacre in New York, and the same word 'emotion' led other people to defend their society or race and do something offensive or violent (like beating up a kid with a Moslem surname to death), and the very same word 'emotion' triggered one Moslem group's blood to boil and plan an attack on other religion, then could I say 'emotion' is a really a curse? For in this sense, it's the very word that has decimated the human beings.

But then, what would we become were we all like Forrest Gump or Rizvan Khan - neither expresses his feeling well? Would we embrace emotion as a blessing, for we have the prerogative to appreciate all the beauty this world has to offer?

The ideal would be having the privileges in this blessed-life of ours to express emotion wisely and responsibly and not letting ourselves be conquered by fury. But then again, the world is not ideal, is it?

Recently in Metro TV, a former jihad general claimed that there is a fatwa in Islam, pointing that "terrorism is kufur". Later I need to find out what the word "kufur" means, but it must be something bad. According to him the terrorists are worst than prostitutes and he even said that people who claim to do jihad by doing terrors are like the dogs from hell. So guys, if the Moslems oppose the terrorists' perspective of seeing what's right and wrong, why are many of us still biased about Moslems?

Underwater river in Mexico, a hoax?

A friend of mine once whined about feeling utterly useless when she was heavy with a child, alone in her parents-in-law's house, zapping channels and ended up watching a local gossip show. She pointed out that you'd know your life is pathetic when you have nothing better to do than watching such shows in the middle of a work day. But today, I had the opportunity of enjoying all my morning at home watching TV and felt totally fine with it! I got to work later than usual because my oh-so-nice boss offered to pick me up and he had something to do in the morning :-).

I think I was watching Insert, and they were talking about something particularly interesting today - gossip show style, but this was not another jibber jabber of some celebrity's life. It was about a so-called phenomenon in Mexico, in which they said to be the nature's mystery. One celebrity, Olga, was telling about his acquaintance who sent him a YouTube video of a discovery of a river under the sea somewhere in Mexico. It was shown that divers found some plants and trees 100 feet under the sea, and a stream of what they said fresh-water under sea water. Unnaturally, the so-called river doesn't mix with the sea water, forming an illusion of a river. To make things more convincing, the divers kinda opened their masks and tasted the water. Fresh water, they claimed! The presenters, and all the celebrities interviewed were referring this phenomenon as an amazing discovery and relate it to something either supernatural or non-human, just like some kind of the fabled Area 51.

Curious, I did cyberslacking later at the office and browsed the info about this alienated underwater river and learnt that it's actually an underwater cavern situated at Cenote Angelita in Mexico. The illusion of river turns out to be a dense cloud of hydrogen sulfate trapped in between sea water, and it doesn't dissolve because of the different density, and there's nothing supernatural or non-human about it. In some blogs it's written as a popular diving site, but some people would just refer it as a photographic hoax, pointing out that it would be impossible to get such clarity in such depth. Hmm, diving is really not my cup of tea, but hoax or not, the pictures showing this eerie site are just fabulous!

GLEE over matters

**SPOILER ALERT!** don't read if you haven't watched Glee.

Yippie-Yay, be gleeful and Gay!

"For the Loser in everyone of us" tag doesn't seem exaggerating when it comes to this sensational, heartening, not-so-high-school-musical drama comedy. I mean, hey, somebody finally made the satire about the off-the-record (high school) life we all familiar about, even only for a while for some people - being a loser! In some ways, I love how the characters are created as 'stereotypical' in a rather offensive way, but tartly funny and brilliant! To tell you the truth, it seems the Glee producers attempt to create a TV series about STEREOTYPE, and bring them all together on one stage: Glee - the ultimate money maker TV series! Please, I mean it in the kindest way.. I love Glee!

Each of the leading character, if not all, seems to be the portrait of the way Hollywood/Americans see one race or society.

Mr. Schuester, with his Justin Timberlake lady-killer dance style, is a typical central role that unites all the losers (read: Glee members). Being a too-good-to-be-true character, this optimistic, inspirative teacher is working his booty extra hard on low salary to meet the fat-budget of his super demanding, conceited wife. The gay member of Glee, Kurt is aloof and brand craving, and has an excessive effort to keep his face clean and all: typical gay. Finn, the football star is in a relationship with Quinn the head cheerleader (soo typical). Rachel is another typical woman leading role: so ambitious and full of energy, initially being the school prank, but is abundant with singing talents. Typical school bully: Puck (so popular at school but is destined to be a life-loser, or not?). Britanny, the typical the dumb-ass blonde; Tina, the Asian, and 'Other Asian' guy who share the same surname - Chang (Oh please, are the Chinese so unimportant that they are given the same surname? Or, is it the way to say: so many Chinese so few surnames?).

Other characters are as important as the Glee club members, and they actually are the X factors of this film. What a brilliant idea it is to have an Indian as the school principal (who's always consulting his calculator when discussing school budget), to give curry to this already tasteful comedy. Never had I heard the word mysophobia before, and I thank Glee for adding my vocabulary. Well, what guidance councilor is with mysophobia?

I never liked musicals (apart from the Sound of Music) but the film is top-notch. It comes in a complete package: biting comedy, great songs, good looks, and above all, the stereotypes.

Up to this point, 'Friends' and 'Will and Grace' are the sitcoms I can't ever grow tired of watching, and there's a big possibility Glee is on the list now, and I hope for a quite long time...

[Hmm, now come to think of it, the high school life I experienced was way more friendly (and al lot more boring) than the one I watched on Glee. Well, yeah, we do have that bullying thing at Tarakanita, but c'mon, it's not that bad! Nobody would have slushee on their face at the end of the day, apart from there wasn't any slushee at school back then. **When will Indonesian school have the privilege of having stuff like slushee? - anyone?**]

Bacause I'm Team Jacob now :-)

Jacob's Agony

How I wish I were heartless,
getting through all this endless torture,
enjoying all the torment, relishing all the agony,
this kind of painstaking misery
savoring all the misfortune
turning it into a self-recovering remedy,
my own kind of salvation
and facing this callous world
being the only transcendent source

the Alpha
the one

But could I stand at all?
Being so self-righteous in my own mind-setting camouflage
deceiving myself with my own absurd sanctity of seeing the world
intertwining it with my very own biased prejudice
spawning virtual pandemonium to justify my supremacy

I am the double-edged sword,
the so-called Alpha
But I’m not – the one

(Adapted from my poems published in www.poemhunter.com)

A "collateral damage" due to this peculiar Twilight Saga obsessiveness

Once Upon A Dream: My Striking Beauty
Empathizing Bella’s wrecked-spirit in the lowest time of the life, during the coldest month of the year

Analyzing the taunting jolts
within the very soul beneath my skin
drizzling in my vein, echoing
from a secret place
retorting to the deed so vain

The chest is where I keep the jolts,
my precious possession,
my elixir of life- discovered
as the fruit for merely being human
emerging, my striking beauty

Reflected beneath its surface is the image of Artemis
depicting his luminous silhouette, a diabolique
molded in complexity: of Aphrodite's most valued charm,
of passion and comfort, of fear and discouragement,
forming fiery moonlight beam in an eclipse

Now as I see it,
my treasured Artemis, the essence of the meticulous jolts
were you my curse?

For having you imprisoned in my fortress of solitude,
radiant is your charm,
and I'm overwhelmed
now resisting, not pouring myself
into your no longer welcoming persona

Now, scrutinizing every bit of the delight
savoring the last glimpse of that very complexity
I leave the caress - no trail to return to
and erasing the path of the labyrinth
to the heart of the maze, no turning back
Once upon my dream,
my striking beauty
a beauty, no more

(Adapted from Once Upon My Dream - published in www.Poemhunter.com; also by Saskia Harjono)

Pre-wedding frenzy!

So here we are, in Bali..for the pre-wed photo shots. This was not something we planned, as we're having this tight budget policy. But then, whatever can happen when God is involved, can't it? It's definitely not sheer luck - I don't believe that exists. This trip has been long planned, not necessarily for our pre-wed, but to celebrate my mom's 55th birthday, as this is my last year being single.. On the first day, it was all raining cats and dogs, from late morning until afternoon, and it was the first time I saw rain in Bali! (Please..please, God, let tomorrow be showered with sunshine...) And..turned out the next day was just lovely. The sun shone really brightly, the sky was clear blue. Egi and I were in good mood, the photographer team was cooperative and friendly.. it was just puurfect! And so, we blasted to the first destination (1.5 hours from Denpasar) with a photographer (Wahyu Prayasa), his assistant (Yasa), the wacky driver (Wance) and a make-up artist from New Melati Salon (Arta).














1st Destination: Taman Ujung Karangasem
It is one of Karangasem Empire heritage buildings during the reign of Balinese kings. The place is still well-taken care of, and even now the sacred atmosphere remains. This is one great place to visit - not only for photo shoots but also for tourists. Great architecture, magnificent view - well you got it all! My favorite spot here is Bale Kapal, the eight-pillar-Balinese-European style which you can reach after climbing a very high flight of stairs. Panting, as we reached this spot, but the spectacular view was worth it. You can see calm blue ocean from afar and blue silhouette of mountains on the other side. The photo shooting was fun under the blazing sun. I had sun-burnt only after one and a half hours there. But I couldn't complain, could I? I asked for the bright sunshine!
It was the first place, and it was quite difficult for us to express ourself. Egi, especially, had a 'Chandler-face' and experienced stone-grin phase.


2nd Destination: Tirta Gangga
Still in Karangasem Area, Tirta Gangga is a water palace owned by the Karangasem families. Later I learnt that it was built by the last King of Karangasem, and that many parts of the palace was destroyed by the volcano eruption in 1963. Contrast with the weather in Taman Ujung, it was a bit cloudy here. It was even drizzling for ten minutes during the photo shoots. I don't know whether the name 'water palace' has something to do with it :).. (hehehe I don't think so).




3rd (unofficial) Destination: Mangrove in Denpasar
Unofficial, because it was a 'bonus trip' from the photographer. After having lunch in Karangasem area, we headed to Tegalwangi beach, around 30 minutes past Denpasar. We'd stop for a while to take photo shoots in the coastal paddy rice fields, but then since we couldn't find the perfect paddy fields (the green one, not harvested) so we went straight to Mangrove in Denpasar. We had only very limited time here, since we got to go to Tegal Wangi before sunset. 10 minutes, that was the limit, but then again, hehe.. okay... so many photos were taken here...

4th Destination: Tegal Wangi
Since the photo shoots in Mangrove was much more than 10 minutes, so Wance the driver sped up to reach Tegal Wangi in less than 20 minutes. But then, again, everybody was 'leaking' and so we stopped at Circle K to use the toilet. Ha..ha.. another ten minutes. As soon as we got to the beach, I was so shocked to know that we actually had to climb down quite a steep cliff (well, steep, for me). For the photographer team, it took them almost an instant to get down, even with all the stuff; but as for me..hohoho... one little step at a time.. and I was there on the beach in around ten minutes.

It was just beautiful as promised, with the cliff, golden sunset, rocks and everything. Romantic. A perfect place for honeymooners. Yet I found it difficult to express myself here... The most difficult of all four.

It was an awesome day after all. Tiring, but unforgettable. Now I can't wait to wait for the real result from Mr. Wahyu Prayasa..hehe..

P.S. FYI, the photos in this post were taken by Wance with Egi's camera. It was kinda funny; we were photographed by three people at the same time, with more than three cameras. I know it was nothing compared to those celebrities and models, but again, it was the first time for us, and it was kinda weird...but fun, hehe..